Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Independence Day!


     Today is the 4th of July and many Peace Corps volunteers decided to go to Lake Malawi to celebrate American independence.  I have never been known for my patriotism and am often critical of the United States.  I am highly aware of the legacy of slavery and the impact of racism in society today.  I am disheartened by the way we treat immigrants and the fact that we consume a disproportionate amount of the world’s resources.  I dislike the obsession with consumerism and selfishness.  I am ashamed of the wealth gap and the fact that some Americans have more money than they know what to do with while others are struggling to survive in poverty. I think we have a lot to learn from other cultures and hate that some Americans feel superior to the rest of the world.  And I think our public education system is shameful and needs tremendous improvement.

     That being said, after one year in Tanzania I find myself turning into one of those flag waving patriots. America is not perfect, but I wish I was there now.  I have realized the value in living in a developed nation and have no desire to spend the rest of my life in a developing country that is plagued by corruption and dependency on foreign aid. I miss my friends and family, but also the diversity of food in the United States, customer service, efficiency, major highways with more than one lane, cleanliness, electricity, water, set prices, and a system of checks and balances.  I love that in American laws are enforced (especially regarding safety) and that there is a legal system in place if laws are broken.  It also makes me happy that the United States has moved from a system of patriarchy to one that is more egalitarian.  I miss seeing women being treated with respect.  I never imagined that my Peace Corps experience would make me appreciate my own country, but strangely enough that is what happened.  I love the USA.  Flaws and all…

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY EVERYONE!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

One Year Anniversary


It’s been one year since I stepped of the plane in Tanzania, ready to start my new life as a Peace Corps Volunteer.  I was extremely naive about what the next 12 months would have in store for me. I can honestly say that this has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life.  Peace Corps brochures always say, “This is the hardest job you will ever love” but I am still waiting on the “love” part.  At first I was excited about living in a rural village and getting to know the people here and learn about Tanzanian culture, but over time that excitement has subsided.  Each day holds multiple frustrations for me:  constant harassment by men in town, police corruption, lack of critical thinking, indirect communication, problems with water and electricity, horrible transportation, and an education system designed for students to fail are just a few examples.  There is high teacher turnover, so making friends has been difficult. You put in the effort to get to know teachers and their families, only to find them gone after a few months.

     They say that the one year anniversary is often the hardest for volunteers.  You have a lot of goals and expectations that remain unfulfilled, and many feel underappreciated and begin to question their purpose in this country.  For example, I expected myself to become fluent in Kiswahili, but soon learned that teaching English at a boarding school made learning the language extremely difficult.  After a full day of teaching more periods than any other teacher followed by tutoring students all afternoon, I just want to be alone in my house.  The thought of going into my village and trying to learn Kiswahili seems unappealing when I know that what I really should do is cook dinner and lesson plan. Unfortunately, certain staff members at my school judge my success as a volunteer based on my ability to converse in Kiswahili. I find this to be extremely frustrating and wonder why they wanted a volunteer English teacher in the first place.  It seems to me that it would have been easier to ask for a Tanzanian teacher if they just wanted someone to socialize in Kiswahili with. These staff members don’t really care that students are improving dramatically in English, have started enjoying learning due to interactive lessons, or that many have found a passion for reading books that does not exist in this country.  They don’t understand why I would rather mark daily English assignments than socialize with other teachers during the day and stay in my house at night. The idea of privacy and wanting to be alone does not exist here, but I have learned that if I try to change these habits and be more Tanzanian I will lose my sanity.

     One year into my service I am questioning my effectiveness here and have begun to re-evaluate my initial goals.  I know I have made an impact on the lives of some students, and need to be okay with that being enough.  There are countless days when I want to throw in the towel and go back to America, but I am too stubborn for that. I just hope my second year in Tanzania is better…

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Challenging Gender Roles

     After school every day I tutor four students who want to get better in English. I give them workbooks and about an extra hour of homework every day. We meet after school to go over their assignments and I teach them the material for the next assignment.  I am currently tutoring four students, but two really stand out.  A boy named Othman in Form 2 and a girl named Glory in Form 4. Both are advanced and the top students in their class.  When I got to my site, I realized that they were often bored in class because they understood things long before their peers.  So I started tutoring them to give them a more challenging and interactive learning experience.  They are also the leaders of English Club, an after school club I started for students who wanted to practice English in a fun, informal setting.  I am just the faculty supervisor, but the students lead the group, plan meetings/ activities, etc.  Needless to say, Glory and Osman are the students I spend the most time and they have even come to my house for dinner on occasion.

     On Wednesday, Osman told me that he had a surprise for me and Glory.  He wanted to cook dinner for us!  After school he went to the village market and bought rice and vegetables, then he came to my house and cooked.  We had a delicious meal of rice with spinach and vegetables.  He prepared our plates, served us, then cleaned up my kitchen and mopped my floors. I was in shock the whole evening!  I had to take photos just to convince myself this actually happened. Gender roles are deeply rooted in this society.  Men do not cook or clean if there is a woman present and they certainly do not serve food to the women.  The fact that Osman was serving us was also surprising because he is Muslim, and I have found that Muslim men are the most traditional.  My Headmaster once told me that if I had male and female students over to my house, the girls should clean and serve the boys their meal first.  So I am guessing that this would not make him very happy.  However, I love that I am teaching my male students to respect women and help around the house at an early age.  Osman promised that when he was married, he would help his wife with cooking and cleaning.  And Glory said that she expected her husband to help with household chores.  Its refreshing to feel like I am having a positive influence on these students.

Osman cooking dinner.  He wouldn't let us help him at all.

Mopping my floors

Our dinner

Me and Glory

Osman and Glory


Saturday, May 12, 2012

My Birthday Celebration in Dar es Salaam!

I had a great birthday celebration in my village with my students, but decided to celebrate in style while in Dar es Salaam.  I had to go to to Dar es Salaam for PSDN (Peer Support Diversity Network) training.  PSDN is a group of 12 Peace Corps volunteers who do crisis support for other volunteers and also lead some of the trainings for Peace Corps.  Since I had to be in Dar anyways, it was a perfect opportunity to celebrate the big 25.   My friends Danielle, Fezekile, and Patrion joined in for the celebration.  We had an AMAZING dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant called Addis in Dar.  I highly recommend it! The food is delicious and you must try the honey wine. After dinner they surprised me with a cake and the waiters brought in small candles and sang happy birthday with my friends.  It was a great day and I am lucky to have such wonderful friends!




Thursday, May 10, 2012

Witchcraft and Demon Possession


     This has been one of the strangest weeks of my life.  Apparently Adam Secondary School has been plagued by witchcraft and evil spirits.  This past weekend, students accused the Matron of being a witch.  The Matron is an older Tanzanian woman who lives in the girls dormitory and looks after female students.  She is also one of the cooks and personally I really like her.  She is kind, cares about the students, tries to help me with my Kiswahili, and gladly cooked the rice I bought for my birthday.   While I was in town on Saturday, students claimed she was a witch and tried to kill her with sticks and knives. The headmaster told her to go home for a week for her own safety until this matter was cleared up.  I am really bothered by the fact that students can threaten the life of a staff member and not be punished.

     The students obviously had overwhelming evidence for their accusation.  First, they said the Matron only uses one toilet in the girl’s dormitory and she refuses to use the other toilets.  She even waits to use the toilet if someone is using the one she likes.  Also, after some of the girls used her toilet they became possessed by evil spirits.  Not all of the girls who used her toilet were possessed, but some.  Their second piece of evidence that she was a witch more convincing.  They said that the Matron refuses to walk between two people when they are talking.  She waits for them to stop talking or walks around them.  I tried to explain that this was considered polite in some cultures, but nobody listened to me.   I also didn’t believe this evidence and said this would open the gate for any staff member to be accused of being a witch.  I do weird things too.  I told him I only use one bathroom in my house even though I have two.  And I also try not to walk between people when they are talking.  Maybe I’m a witch…

     On Monday morning the witch trials began.  Students testified about why they thought the Matron was a witch.  Some said they had medicine from their home that allowed them to see who was a witch, and the medicine told them Matron was evil.  The discipline committee agreed to meet with the Matron to do a full investigation and that the trials would continue when it was safe for her to return.  I wasn't feeling well and my survival Kiswahili did not cover witchcraft, so I left the trials pretty early.  After the meeting the Academic Master explained what had happened.  One of the students I tutor gave me a student’s perspective later that evening.  She said she didn’t believe Matron was a witch but many of her friends did.  
               
     On Tuesday, the Headmaster said that students who fell over claiming demon possession would be beaten.  He said many students were just being foolish and that the Matron isn’t a witch.  Unfortunately, after the Headmaster left for a meeting in town the school erupted in chaos.  After chai, three students were suddenly possessed by evil spirits and demons.  They put mattresses on the floor in the staff room and students came to pray over them while they squirmed on the ground and yelled crazy things.  I kept hoping that the demons didn’t move from the students and find a new home at my desk.

     During this time, the teachers met to discuss whether we should postpone the exams that were supposed to be taking place this week.  The Academic Master said the environment had been disrupted by evil spirits so students couldn't focus on their studies.  I mentioned that there seemed to be a direct correlation between exams and the arrival of evil spirits, the students who are failing seemed to be the biggest victims of demon possession, and there was no guarantee that the evil spirits would be gone next week.  Plus, I think all students should learn how to take exams while they are distressed.  If this had happened during NECTA exams, the students would still have to take the exam.  Sometimes I get frustrated by how much people blame evil spirits.  If a student fails school, he or she can say it’s due to evil spirits.  It has nothing to do with a lack of studying and terrible attendance.  Similarly, illness isn't caused by drinking dirty water or sleeping without mosquito net in a malaria area.  It’s the demons that make people sick.   With these widespread beliefs, it can be difficult to change student behavior.  Students blamed the Matron for the demon possession even though she had left the school. 

     While the students were praying over those who were demon possessed, one teacher asked if I believed in God and if I had been baptized.  After I answered yes to both questions, he suggested that I go pray over the students.  I told him that my culture and belief system did not support this.  I believe in God and can’t say with 100% certainty that people don’t get possessed by demons, but evil spirits were taking over about ten students a day in a school of only one hundred.  That seems like a very high possession rate.  I also found it strange that students had the ability to remove the evil spirits themselves.  I thought demon possession would require the work of a priest who was experienced in exorcism.  The Academic Master said that only those with strong faith get possessed, but I know many people with strong faith who do not frequently get controlled by evil spirits.  Plus, wouldn’t the increased risk of demon possession discourage someone from having a strong faith? I am trying to be sympathetic, but sometimes it’s really difficult for me to understand parts of Tanzanian culture.  Especially since many other Tanzanians have told me that many students fake demon possession because they want attention, to get out of taking exams, etc.   

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Surprise Inspection


     There are many school rules that I am not aware of and I think my students use my ignorance to their advantage.  One of the rules that our headmaster has decided to be very strict about is cell phones.  I understand that they are disruptive if used in the classroom, but I had no idea that cell phones were banned completely.  Especially since this is a boarding school and I figured students would want to be able to contact their parents.  After all, I had a cell phone at boarding school.  And I can’t think of a school in America where phones are banned completely.  Recently the headmaster told me he was going to be strict about phones because he cares about student safety and many are doing “bad things” with their phones.  I had heard about some Tanzanian students having sugar daddies and often having sex with them for gifts, spending money, etc.  but I did not think that was happening at this school.  He said that the school had a phone students could use to call their parents but the ones who didn’t want to use the school phone were doing bad things.
          
The girls waiting outside while the inspection took place

The Headmaster and a teacher watching a student go through her suitcase as they check for  phones
     As part of the cell phone crack down, we had a surprise inspection.  The teachers went through the dormitories looking for phones, drugs, and other things students weren’t supposed to have.  The students were called in one by one to empty their suitcases, etc. as the others waited outside.  Those who were hiding phones were beaten as punishment.  Everyone on staff has learned that I have a weak stomach for corporal punishment and school beatings, so they let me leave.  I thought about my own experience at boarding school.  I remember rooms of certain individuals being searched if they were suspected of having drugs, but they never invaded the privacy of all students.  Sometimes I wonder if students have any rights.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The River


     I am almost embarrassed to post this because I have been complaining about a water issue and the little irrigation channel behind my house that is often dry.  But today I found out there is a river behind my school.  It is behind the dormitories and completely hidden from view.  This discovery made me so happy!  I have been looking for a quiet place to read or journal and have finally found one!  I had wondered where students were getting enough water for bathing, washing clothes, etc. but assumed they were using the same little stream I was.  Clearly I was wrong.  To get to this river you have to walk down a steep hill and I am amazed that students are able to walk back up with buckets of water on their heads.  The school is set up to have running water in places, so often they get water from the faucet.  One student told me that if the water at the school is not working, they will all go bathe together in the river.  The boys and girls go to different areas and are unable to see each other.    I have learned that Tanzanians are not quite as modest as Americans and homosexuality is not acknowledged in this country, so this is completely normal.  One thing that I have not adapted to is the idea of bathing with freezing cold water.  Mbeya is a cold place (especially June through August) and I have no desire to pour ice cold water all over my body.   I really don’t know how the students can bear it…