Monday, April 22, 2013

Silencing Myself


To say that I have been a horrible blogger these past five months would be an understatement.  My experiences have become so normalized to me, that I often forget people in America may find my life unique and interesting.  I have silenced myself on many occasions due to the general animosity I often feel towards Tanzania and other traumatic events that I am not allowed to write about because of Peace Corps.   Overall, I do not have a good reason or excuse for my neglect and apologize to the people that enjoy reading my blog.  I will make an effort to update my posts, so look for back dated entries. 

Many things have happened over the past five months.  The 2012 school year ended and the 2013 school year began.  I returned to the United States to celebrate Christmas and New Years with my friends and family.  Readjusting to life in America was both exciting and overwhelming.  My students performed extremely well on their English NECTA and I found validation in my countless efforts to become a good teacher.  I had to say goodbye to one of my closest friends in Peace Corps and my favorite students at the school left.  I have felt more emotions than I can list.  There have been moments of extreme loneliness and isolation.  At times I have felt frustrated with Tanzania and with myself.   I have not integrated into the culture nor do I have the language proficiency that I imagined. I have questioned my effectiveness as a volunteer.  On June 12, 2013 my Peace Corps service will end and I return to the United States shortly after.  As I approach my final month here, I realize that I am both excited and sad to leave this place.  

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