In Peace Corps lingo, “ET” means Early Termination and there are weeks and sometimes months where I am sure a majority of PCVs have contemplated leaving. I love Tanzania and the people in this country, but there are just some days when I miss living in a highly developed nation and the American culture that I am used to: flaws and all. Sometimes I just do not understand the society I am living in and must remind myself why I became a Peace Corps volunteer in the first place. This past week was just difficult…let me recap.
- Last Sunday morning I watched a Tanzanian man be brutally beaten for robbing my friends bar (see previous blog post).
- On Monday and Tuesday I was sick with the flu. I had a terrible headache, sore throat, nausea, and was extremely dizzy. While attempting to teach my form one students I almost fell over. The rainy season, combined with the cold of living in the mountains and the lack of insulation in my house has not been a great for my health. Of course Tanzanians want to offer their health advice, but for some reason hearing that I should go for a run for an hour didn’t seem like the ideal solution. Considering the fact that a large number of Tanzanians do not eat a balanced diet, drink entirely too much alcohol, sleep without nets in spite of the fact that malaria is a huge killer in this country, don’t use condoms in spite of an HIV/AIDS epidemic, drink dirty water, and wash hands without soap to kill germs/bacteria, and other things, I certainly did not feel like taking health advice from villagers. Perhaps that was my American elitism kicking in, but I am not the friendliest person when I am sick. I just wanted to sleep….
- On Wednesday I watched my Academic Master beat several students with sticks for not doing his book-keeping assignment because they didn’t understand what he taught them. (I should add as a side note that he does not consistently teach his classes.) It is against Tanzanian law for male teachers to beat female students when a female teacher is present. I simply reminded him of this law and then had to listen to his rant about how women shouldn’t be teachers because they are too weak to discipline students and that’s why the male teachers must do it. Then he said even though it was the law, most Tanzanian schools don’t enforce it. I soon had a “Two wrongs don’t make a right,” moment and reminded myself of my father… Then my Second Master told me that the schedule for the year had changed because of the national Census. So now the school year won’t end until December 15th and the month long break I was looking forward to in June will no longer happen. I wish I could understand why the government waited until the school year had already started to make these changes when they knew there would be a national Census this year.
- On Thursday, I had a conversation with some students and told them that when I was in secondary school I played basketball and lacrosse. They started laughing then said, “Madame, we don’t believe you. You are too fat to play sports.” I know I should be used to being called fat by now, but it is just a bit of a blow to my self-esteem.
- On Friday, I had a fight with my Academic Master. In Tanzania, people are indirect and if you have a problem with somebody you are not supposed to be confrontational. Personally I hate this about the culture. It is the opposite of how we are taught to communicate in Tanzania and I just don’t trust it. So I was very American on Friday. My Academic Master tries to guilt trip me into doing excessive amounts of work and I had finally had enough. When I went to the wedding and missed a form one welcome that the students had planned last minute, he told me that I was not a dedicated teacher and that the students think I don’t care about them. I wanted to tell him that I show I care by actually coming to school and teaching when I am supposed to (but of course I couldn’t say this…). On Friday, he was telling me that I needed to supervise student debates every week after school and write reports on the debate. I told him he could do it himself since he left every day after lunch, didn’t teach his classes regularly, and did no extra-curricular activities with students. The conversation did not go well...
- On Friday evening, my boyfriend Peter drove to my village to watch our schools football game. The students lost to a school that was deep in another village and blamed the referee. Truthfully, they just played badly and wanted someone to blame. So sportsmanship went out the window and the students began fighting with the referee and other team. Peter had met some “friends” on his way to my village and they wanted a ride with him on his way back to town. Of course he said yes, and they came to watch the game too. After the game, we went to my house so I could get a few things for town and while Peter was inside his “friends” STOLE HIS CAR. We walked to the main road trying to decide what to do (call the police, etc.) when we saw the car. The guys had stopped to get a beer. While they were inside we took the car and left. Later that night, his “friend” texted him saying that they were no longer friends because Peter had left him in the village. What kind of friend steals your car and then gets mad at you for taking your car back and leaving them??
- On Saturday morning, Peter and I drove to town because Peace Corps volunteers had a meeting to plan a Girls Empowerment conference in June. On our way, we were stopped by a police officer who wasted no time asking for a bribe or “money for chai.” She obviously stopped us because she thought that I was a rich foreigner and in this country there is apparently no need for anything that hints at probable cause. So I gave her 1000 tsh for “chai” and she threw the money back at me because she wanted more money. After my week, I was just PISSED. A police officer was outwardly asking for a bribe which I find morally repugnant but it is common in this culture; then, when I offer her money she is rude/ disrespectful and throws it back at me!
After a week of witnessing corporal punishment, government inefficiency and corruption I have been feeling quite frustrated. I work in a school where I am one of the only female teachers (we have an intern and part time teacher) and there is this feeling of superiority that some of the Tanzanian men seem to have which is annoying and ridiculous since I am the most educated teacher at the school. But often they will take my periods for their own use and not follow the timetable. Sometimes it feels like a constant struggle. But my students are the reason I am here and I absolutely adore them. They try so hard and are so smart. They don’t have many teachers who care about their success and spend hours of their free time tutoring rather than beating them for making mistakes. I am finally starting to see some of the results of my hard work and it makes this experience worth all the frustrations.
Besides, things could be worse. My friend in Mbeya had a snake in her house: A GREEN MAMBA! This snake is one of the most dangerous in the world. I think its venom can kill you in just a few hours. And I am petrified of snakes. My brother took me to a snake museum before I left for Tanzania and I had heart palpitations. Now, if this snake had come into my house, I would be back in America before you could finish reading this post (or I would be dead from heart failure…)
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